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He’s a Frothy little Monkey, isn’t he?

Attention whore Justin Jones, gets his feelings hurt.  Good.

JUSTIN JONES — Too pretty for jail?
(Tennessee Star photo used without permission.)

Not satisfied with his previous attempts to become a liberal martyr, Justin Jones (aka Jussie Smollett fanboy) personally assaulted Speaker of the House Glen Casada a few days ago.  He was promptly arrested for throwing a cup of Frothy Monkey coffee on Casada and others when officers on duty decided it was not a good idea to put a foaming-at-the-mouth nutcase screaming “Casada is a racist” on the same elevator.  So Jones hurled his caffeine cup at the Speaker and ended up in handcuffs.

Now comes word that Jones is whining Dist. Attorney General Glenn Funk is not “being fair” by moving to have Jones put in jail for violating his previous bond, which was imposed when he crashed a Blackburn campaign event last fall.

Mean ol’ Funk has hurt Justin’s feewings?  Oh, boo-effin’-hoo.

Jones apparently hopes his political soulmate — notorious racist hoaxer Jussie Smollett – would at least send him a note of sympathy.  Or maybe a lock of his hair.

Jones is an alleged a Vanderbilt divinity student.  We say “alleged” because surely no organization in its right mind and which receives tens of millions of state taxpayer money, would excuse or encourage one of their students to attack the head of the very legislature who can take that money away – would they?

Oh, hell, this is Vanderbilt – what do you think?  The head of the oxymoronically named Vanderbilt Divinity School is a woman who calls herself a “womanist.”  What the heck is a womanist?  Do all Vandy professors sit around all day with a finger up their butts trying to invent new cool progressive titles for themselves?  Oh, hell, this is Vanderbilt – what do you think?

As for Justin, we hear he believes it is time to take his sputtering, er, splattering protest up a notch.

Beware, Mr. Speaker.  Next time he’s going to throw Starbucks at you.

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Why Guvnah, you’re blushing!

Ah do declare!  I buhlieve it’s a Southern Bill.

A few days ago the Tennessean revealed that it’s continually dwindling staff decided they should spend their time on the most important issue facing our citizens today. Taxes? National Security? Education?  Nah.  What was clearly key to the survival of the Republic was what one might find in an old high school or college yearbook.  Our neighbors next door in Virginia recently discovered all of their statewide elected officials (all Democrats, by the way) had been accused of being either black-face racists, post-birth abortionists or even rapists.

So what might they find if they dug into the old yearbooks of Tennessee politicians from 30 or 40 years ago?  The intrepid reporters drooled at the prospect of uncovering Lamar Alexander’s expired library card from Maryville High School.  Or maybe Tom Ingram’s Home Econ certificate from Lipscomb.  Maybe even Phil Bredesen’s picture as president of the Ham Radio Club in wherever in Massachusetts he came from.

Instead they found a grainy photo of Bill Lee attending a college dance dressed in a Confederate costume.  THE HORROR!

Now if the so-called journalists had done a more thorough job, they might have uncovered more photographs of the governor.  Not to be outdone, the crew here at Rocky Top are on the job!  We were able to uncover another photo of Lee:

(Hint: he’s the one all a-glow and sporting a parasol.)

We understand David Plaza has already framed our photograph and hung it over his bed.

Frankly, my dears, we don’t give a damn.

Corker to Hollywood?

Casting call for Virginia drama could put Coker in the spotlight

As the Clown Show that is the Virginia Democratic Party unfolded this past week, we thought the unfolding scandal was just ripe for a Netflix or HBO mini-series.  As of yesterday the Virginia, Cradle of Presidents, has produced three state officials — all Democrats — who are apparently either racists in blackface, racists in KKK garb, a post-birth abortionist and/or a sexual predator.  Damn, we thought, we should have paid closer attention in screenwriting class in college — we could make a mint!

But there are other Tennesseans who might be able to cash in.  So when we stumbled across this on the InterChatNetFace, we got a great idea:

When the casting call goes out for Game of Thrones:  Virginia Edition we don’t know where they can find any dragons, but we gotcher dwarf right here:

And best of all, Bob’s scheduled just recently completely opened up.  He’s tan, rested and just itching for a new gig.

You are welcome, Hollywood.

 

Road Trip!

Who will be Gov. Lee’s “plus one” at the State of the Union?

Bill Lee has decided to leave Tennessee for a couple days to go to the State of the Union speech in Washington, DC.  Lee probably deserves a short break.  After all, he has been governor for about 2 whole weeks now.  Time to cut loose and recharge the ol’ batteries!  Road trip to D.C.!

But there is a serious question that the Guv will need to answer first.  Will he take a senior staff member with him, and if so, which one?

The two obvious choices are either chief of staff Blake Harris or the new CEO Butch Eley.  But a fair warning to Billy Lee:  you are going to have some explainin’ to do if you take either one of them.  Especially if you have to introduce them to the Prez.

Why, you ask? Well let’s start with Eley.  While President Trump was pulling out all the stops to get Marsha Blackburn (and Bill Lee for that matter) elected, Eley was making large contributions to Marsha’s opponent, Phillary Bredesen.  While Trump was trying to ensure we keep a Republican Senate, Eley was hoping we didn’t and put his money where his heart is.  What is surprising is that Bill Lee put him in charge of the state.  Nothing like thinking you were voting for a conservative Republican, only to have him turn the keys to the car over to a Democrat who spent most of his political career trying to keep Republicans from getting elected.

Then there’s Blake Harris.  Harris lucked into his current job by working for a guy who originally was thought to have no chance of getting elected – but did.

But Harris has an extensive record of being anti-Trump (yeah, the same Trump who carried 93 of Tennessee’s 95 counties).  He was campaign manager for Sen. Ben Sasse – a strong Never-Trumper and he worked for GOP Cong. Martha Robey (AL) who publicly attacked Trump.  And just a few months before he signed on with Bill Lee, Harris spewed out a series of messages that left no one in doubt that he was a virulent opponent to Donald Trump:

Screenshot

Screenshot

And there is Bill Lee himself.  After following Bill Haslam — the only Republican governor to publicly announce he would not vote for Trump – Lee takes office and the first thing he does is hire as his two top staffers people who hate Trump.

 

 

Have a nice trip to DC, guys.  Don’t forget to get a selfie with the Donald.

 

Short man speak with forked tongue.

 

There’s a fascinating story from the Tennessee Star last week about how Bob “I-used-to-be-somebody” Corker threw a hissy fit on a plane from DC to Tennessee.

Seems the Bobster noticed a Nashville businessman who used to give Corker campaign donations but, according to the story, stopped when he began to suspect that the diminutive former senator was a major sleaze who used his position to enrich himself with all sorts of insider deals.  RTP had a whole series of stories about that very thing (to see them just go to the archives and type in “Corker” or “pipsqueak” and they should pop up).

The Star story went on at some length to describe the scene between Corker and financial advisor Tim Pagliara, replete with Corker on his knees in his seat, peering over the back of the seat to get at Pagliara, who found himself surrounded, since Corker’s former chief-of-staff Todd Womack was in the seat behind him.

What in hell would possess Corker to antagonistically confront a constituent in a cramped public space with numerous people within earshot hearing his every word.  Our guess is that the mere presence of Pagliara was enough to remind Corker his reputation would need some repair work if he were to run for another office.  Maybe an office currently held by someone whose name rhymes with “rump”?

But we digress.  The Star covered the contretemps well enough, but it was one line in the long story that caught our eye.  It was where Womack, while trying to defend Corker and himself over a deal where millions in profits were realized.  “We didn’t make that much money off the deal,”  Womack said.

Uh, what do you mean “We”, Kemosabe?

Was Todd in business with Corker while the two of them were employed by the Senate?  And does Womack’s annual Senate financial disclosure statements (required of chiefs of staff) reflect what he made on the deal?  Inquiring minds want to know.

Womack also offered to provide Pagliara a copy of a release form showing what happened to a $22 million contingency debt Corker had on the sale of his business.  A debt that seems to have magically “disappeared” when Wells Fargo stepped in to take over the loan from GE Capital.

Yet another question for Womack (and Corker).  Have you or can you produce the release?  It’s an important damn question.  Maybe when the Tennessean is done laying off employees, they might find time to look into this (Ha, ha.  Just kidding.  They are nowhere close to stopping the layoffs.).

When Corker went into the Senate, he was reportedly worth a few (as in low six figures) million dollars. By the time he left 12 years later his estimated worth was between $65 – $90 million!  So how does one make that much money when your only job is being a U.S. Senator?

Corker may want to check his bank account.  National political races and reputational management consultants cost a lot of money.

Rocky Top Politics returns.

“We’re Ba-a-a-a-a-ck!”

Yeah, for a few months there we had real lives.  Babies, graduations, weddings, drunken nights in Bangkok (well maybe not the Bangkok part – but you get the idea). But then we wandered down to Legislative Plaza only to find they had moved the legislature someplace else.  All we found were storage boxes and a tumbleweed blowing through where the snack bar used to be.  That got us curious.

Truth is the crew here at Rocky Top was a little bored with our blog.  We grew tired of having to sober up before noon so we could dazzle everyone with our extensive sources and incredible political analyses and still make it to the bar by happy hour.

Things were starting to get a little stale.  Haslam was a lame duck, Corker had become a full-fledged self-destructive little pipsqueak.  Even Glen Casada decided to hang out with people his own age.

Even the governor’s race didn’t interest us that much.

We watched in wonder as Diane Black (who was arguably the most qualified to be governor) went down in flames.  Randy Boyd (the wealthiest – and most annoying), barely came in second while his campaign spent the equivalent of the gross domestic product of a medium-sized African nation.  But hey — Chip Saltsman got wealthy as his campaign manager, so that’s something of a silver lining, we guess.  Beth Harwell was the most pitiful.  And then there was Billy Lee.

Lee turned a real personal tragedy into a book, inherited the family business, then married his kids’ teacher, all of which gave him an inexplicable reason to run for governor (hinting that he had received the personal endorsement of the Holy Spirit didn’t hurt either.)  It is understandable if Lee and his team think they were political geniuses, but they would be wrong.  They were smart enough to take the only path to winning that was available to them: let the others fight outside the school cafeteria, while Lee snuck back inside and stole everyone’s lunch.  But don’t get cocky, kids.  64% of the GOP primary voters voted for someone other than Bill Lee.  Lee’s margin for error over the next four years is very thin.

Marsha Blackburn trounced Phillary Bredesen and became the senator the establishment hates.  Mark Green was handed a congressional seat on a silver platter (Green’s former patient, Saddam Hussein, would have been so proud of him had he not been unfortunately hanged some years ago).  John Rose married a girl he used to “mentor” when she was a high school student, but wrote a check for a few million and bought a golden ticket to DC.  And Tim Burchett finally admitted (or did he?) that Big Foot wasn’t real and was awarded one of the state’s “Congressman for Life” slots.

“But, but, why are you picking on Republicans?” we hear you whine.  In the words of the great bank robber Willie Sutton:  “Because that’s where the money is.”  And by “money” we mean the tax dollars and state contracts being lined up by lobbyists advising Bill Lee.  They are like pigs at the trough, waiting to get the neophyte governor to do their bidding and fill their pockets.

As for going after Democrats, well that would just be cruel.  Like shooting the terminally wounded.

So now to answer the question that probably no one is asking, but we will answer it anyway.  Is RTP back for real?

Depends.

We will not be publishing as frequently as we used to.  Mrs. Hot Chick thinks that’s why we got bored in the first place.  But when we do spout off, we will try to make it good.

One final reminder:  We still don’t care what your opinion is.  But keep leaking us good stuff and maybe you can join our elite army:

The Few. The Proud. The Merry Band of Tipsters.

 

COMING SOON to a spam filter near you:

  • The education of Billy Lee.
  • That pain you’re feeling Governor is just Glen Casada channeling Jimmy Naifeh.
  • Randy McNally: Run silent, run deep.
  • Butch Ely says: “You can’t work here.  Hell, you’re a conservative!”

La Raza Randy, por favor.

Boyd Bites the Burrito.  Big time.

[Editors’ Note:  Before we begin, many of our readers (okay, okay, both of our readers) have been wondering what happened to Rocky Top.  Well here is the short answer:  we actually have lives outside of the voyeuristic pleasure many of you get when reading our incendiary columns.  So excuse us for living.

Mrs. Hot Chick just had yet another baby (which leads us to wonder, does Mr. Hot Chick ever give it a rest?), so her contributions have been curtailed until future notice.  As for the other two crew members, we were growing increasingly bored with the whole thing and decided to take a sabbatical to regain our perspective.  That, of course, did not work.

But when the inexecrable Sen. Todd Gardenhire (R-Pissed Off) and Rep, Mark White (R-Ino) decided to make another run at using our tax dollars to reward people for breaking into our country, we decided to rev up the old motor and take them on.

So is this post a return of RTP to the political battles, or is it a one-time tirade?  Who cares?  Enjoy it while you got it.]

Viva La Raza Randy!

or in language Boyd can understand:

“Esto est estupido.  Aparentementa soy un completo idiota,” dijo el Sr. Randy

It didn’t take long for the college tuition subsidies for illegal aliens issue to hit the governor’s race.  That is not surprising.  What is surprising is the how the Diane Black campaign deftly took advantage of the situation as compared to incredibly stupid reaction from the Boyd campaign.

RTP has no favorites in the governor’s race, so we can approach this as objectively as a bunch of political hacks can approach any political subject on a given day.

Black immediately jumped out in front of the issue and declared she would veto the bill brought by Gardenhire and White which would subsidize illegal aliens by giving them in-state tuition rates.  She then trotted out statements and advertising that solidified her opposition.  (For the record, so did Bill Lee, but as Ricky Bobby once said: “If you ain’t first, you’re last.”).  Beth Harwell reinvigorated the Bathroom Caucus by characteristically remaining silent and on the sideline any time a controversy emerges.  “The signs are everywhere,” Beth.  And your cowardice on this issue is perhaps the biggest sign your campaign is going nowhere.

But not Randy Boyd. Oh, nooo.  El Jefe Randy probably should have remained at least quiet on the subject, given his history of bankrolling illegal alien project (i.e., $250,000 in personal contributions for La Raza-supported training programs that help teach illegals how to take American restaurant jobs), Senior Randy just had to open his mouth and let loose with this little gem:

“We need to bring more people in to the state of Tennessee, and I want to bring people in … from wherever in the world they want to come from.” 

3-15-2018

Maybe El Gobernador wannabe Randy did not get the message that his campaign’s internal polling has been screaming at him:  taxpayer-funded subsidies for illegals is a devastatingly bad issue for any GOP candidate who embraces it.  And while trying to filibuster his response to avoid taking a firm stand, Boyd just can’t seem to stop talking.  Look for Black to take his above statement and wrap it around his neck like a cheap serape.

Adios, Senor Randy.

Too widdle, too late.

 

Time to stick a fork in the Cork?

The slow strip tease that is the Corker “reconsideration dance” is starting to wear thin.  Senate Leader Mitch McConnell has now said that he “has no problem” with Marsha Blackburn’s chances at keeping the senate seat in the Republican column, undermining Coker’s “will he?/won’t he?” act.  Even the pollster who released numbers purporting to show Blackburn losing to Bredesen by 2 points, which the Corker people promoted as proof that he needed to get into the race, did a major backtrack on his on poll.

Blackburn has made it clear she won’t roll over for Corker and the recent polls show she would beat him handily.  And observers find it hard to believe that Corker – absent some sort of “Roy Moore” opposition research on Blackburn – would be willing to risk his place in history as well as his enormous ego by getting his butt kicked by the “Brentwood Barbie.”

RTP sources in DC say that earlier in the week, Corker was seen running down to the White House to see if Trump would weigh in.  There are media reports that he met with Ivanka Trump, but the Trumps apparently declined to get involved (gee, we wonder why).

We predict this will all come to a head within just a few days, with Corker once again “coming up short

Is Bob Corker About to Re-Enter the Senate race?

Rocky Top has heard the rumor from multiple sources.  Is it true? 

We don’t know.  But the rumor and the spin-off speculation has become so prevalent that it is impossible to ignore.

Here is the gist of it:

Corker is looking seriously at “un-retirement” and/or is being encouraged to do so by prominent financial players who are worried that former Cong. Stephen Fincher is badly trailing Cong. Marsha Blackburn.  Independent and internal polls that we have seen confirm that Fincher is losing by as many as 35 points.  After bragging late last year that he would significantly outraise Blackburn, the most recent FEC reports show that it was Blackburn took those honors by several hundred thousand dollars, increasing the fundraising gap with Fincher.  All this has dramatically increased the discomfort among the state’s establishment Republicans who loathe Blackburn and her independent brand of conservatism.

The name at the center of the rumors is – no surprise – Tom Ingram.  Ingram has reportedly made numerous calls sounding out leaders’ opinions for a Corker redux. If Ingram is involved, it’s real.

For his part, Corker is said to have been surprised at how quickly his influence in the Senate has waned since he announced his retirement last fall.  For someone whose ego is considered one of the biggest in the Senate (no mean feat), his growing irrelevance has been more than he bargained for.  RTP sources in DC report that Corker has rather openly speculated about a run for President in 2020, with or without Trump on the ballot (stop laughing, it’s true) but that is a pretty farfetched possibility.

That leads us to offer some of our patented, astute political analysis as to what may be behind these rumors:

  1. Upset that Blackburn may get elected to the Senate, the establishment is trying to get Corker to reconsider.
  2. Corker is actually reconsidering or has already decided to jump back in.
  3. This could also be a panicked attempt to try and freeze Blackburn’s growing prospects and/or encourage someone besides Fincher to get in the race, since he seems to be going nowhere fast and election day is less than 6 months away.
  4. The establishment is setting the stage for them to support Bredesen over Blackburn. It’s happened before – remember “Republicans for Bredesen” in 2002?  Didn’t Tom Ingram’s wife play a significant role in that effort?

This could all get real interesting, real fast.

Mile High Mayor

Mayor BONER

 

Mayor BONED

 Yeah, yeah – we know – gratuitous sexual innuendo and juvenile, irresponsible attempts at humor. But hey – it’s what we do.

But how else to address one of the most blatant misuse of taxpayer’s money in Nashville’s recent history for a politician’s – ahem – personal use.  It is not only corrupt, it is a classic demonstration of hypocritical, double-standard, sleazy, unethical malfeasance.

Not to mention icky.

Unless you were living in Thomas Demonbreun’s cave on the Cumberland River the last 24 hours, you know the uber-liberal darling of the Democrat Party, Mayor Megan “Hot Lips” Barry has been using the taxpayer’s money to cheat on her husband with the head (“head” in this instance is perfectly interchangeable between its literal and colloquial definition) of her security detail.  She canoodled with him in Greece and half the continental U.S. while he charged the taxpayers overtime for servicing the mayor.  The mayor said they never did it “on the clock”.  However, she declined to say whether they did it on the sofa, on the hood of her official car (“if this Tahoe’s a-rocking, don’t come knockin’”), or on the 50-yard-line of Titans stadium. For all we know, they did it on the airplane on their way to Greece, which would make her the Mile High Mayor.  Come to think of it, they were together in Denver (the Mile High City) so we guess that would qualify too.

Oh, the Humanity!  Oh, the Hypocrisy!

The crew here at Rocky Top have digressed to bathroom humor, because that is exactly what the mayor has earned.  And because we are done with the preening, sanctimonious, virtue-signaling jerks (#upyours) like the Mayor who smugly declare their moral, ethical and politically correct superiority over those of us who insist on seeing this scandal for what it is.  We so-o-o look forward to the Tennessean’s editorial demanding the immediate resignation of the Mayor.  (Wait.  Why are you laughing?).

It ain’t like there’s no precedent.  Those of us old enough to remember Bill Boner know what we are talking about: Cheating. Corruption. Harmonicas.  Phil Donohue.  National humiliation.  (Look it up Millennials.  That’s why God created Google).

Somewhere today, Jeremy Durham is laughing his candy pants off.