Monthly Archives: November, 2017

What happens in Virginia, stays in Virginia.

Fincher campaign consultant big loser in recent Virginia elections.

25-year incumbent conservative (and Tommy Hopper client) loses to a transgender left-wing nut job.

Virginia Republicans weren’t the only ones disappointed with last month’s elections in that state.  Senate candidate Stephen Fincher must have been concerned about the performance of his campaign consultant, Tommy “GOP Money Pigs” Hopper.  (Hopper got that nickname when, as state GOP chairman he referred to the party’s largest and most loyal contributors as “GOP money pigs.”  He was soon thrown out of the chairman’s office).  Hopper was providing strategy and other services for a number of races in the Old Dominion.

All of them came up losers.

Former/current male/female rock band singer and reporter – now – member of the VA legislature

The most ignominious defeat was when long-time Del. Bob McDonald, arguably the most conservative Republican in the Virginia House, lost to the nation’s first transgender legislator.  The transgender candidate leads a professional heavy metal band and was a former newspaper reporter (well of course he/she was a reporter).  Yet Hopper couldn’t come up with a strategy to beat her?

Such a defeat must have even Hopper wondering about his political masculinity.

Anyone can have a bad year, but it seems that Hopper is having a bad couple of years. Hopper was also the consultant last election to Brian Kelsey in his race for Fincher’s old congressional seat.  Kelsey & Hopper spent a cool $1,000,000 in the primary.  And Kelsey came in 4th in that race.

Maybe Fincher doesn’t seem too worried because he thinks Tom Ingram is always available to try for one of his patented “4th quarter comebacks” (like he did for Corker in 2006 and Lamar in 2014).  We would advise Hopper to start looking over his shoulder.  But maybe he would be worrying about nothing.  There are plenty of other candidates out there who are going to lose in 2018.  And they all could use a consultant like Hopper.

Perhaps Tommy-boy can convince someone to “crossover” and become a Republican.  After the Virginia election, he’s a bona fide expert in “gender-fluid” party affiliations.

We hear Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner is available.

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Moore, Moore, Moore… How do you like it, how do you like it?

GOP candidates Roy Moore (Senate) and Mark Green (Congress)

Do some TN politicians have a Judge Moore problem?

First off, we are not casting judgement on Judge Moore, he of Alabama fame.  For all we know it was a set-up smear job by the MSM and their allies in the “Well, I never…” Republican Caucus.  For all we know Judge Roy was cruising the junior high playground looking for “dates”  or he was volunteering at the homeless shelter.  Time will tell.  Anywho, this ain’t Alabama, this is Tennessee — and we have higher expectations of our politicians, if not our football team.

BUT…. That doesn’t mean we here in the Volunteer state don’t have some solid candidates for the Creepiest Politican award (or as we call it here in Tennessee, “The Jeremy”).  Now don’t y’all go clutching your pearls and swooning towards the fainting couch.   We have all heard the rumors and the stories that are perhaps more than just rumors.  One of the more sordid (but admittedly entertaining) tasks we have here at RTP is to puncture that big old balloon called “political hypocrisy.”  We are, of course, talking about sex.  Randy representatives.  Lewd legislators.

As Harvey Weinstein might say:  “And the nominees are…”

  • .       The former top aide to a top legislative leader who had to be hustled out of the office because he couldn’t keep his hands off a female staffer in another office.
  • .       The married former staffer and campaign consultant who became enamored with a willing sweet young thing, then lost his marbles when she cut him off.  He allegedly sent nasty notes in the mail to her parents and others.  He’s still lurking around.  Word is, the Jane Doe was hustled out of town and given a state-related job in the hopes she would keep her lips and her pants zipped up.
  • .       The politician who set his cap for a teenage high school girl who caught his eye.  She is so much younger than him, even wider than 18-year age gap between Judge Moore and one of his accusers.  Like Moore allegedly did, our Tennessee pol first came into contact with the girl when she was a teenager (17) and he was in his 40’s.   Evidently he was undecided as to whether he should adopt the girl or marry her.  He chose the latter.  Ewww.
  • .       A leading House Republican whose LP nickname is “Zippy.”  When his wife had had enough of his serial philandering, she threw his sorry butt out of the house.  However, he still has a seat in the people’s House.

So hit the water coolers and run up a bar tab with your feverish speculations.  RTP will continue to report on those “shagedelic salons” who seem to have problems keeping their junk in their pants.

For those of you new to the exercise, you can send us tips to our notorious tip line (www.rtptipline@gmail.com) as to who you think we are talking about. Or you can send us your own rumor.  As usual, we will not answer your comments or emails, but we will read them.  Eventually.  If our lawyer says it’s okay.

Harvey Weinstein, Democrat candidate for Prison.