Haynes Hits the Panic Button

State Party Chair begs Legislators to take their name off letter.

RTP says waverers and others may be begging to sign back ON to the letter once they hear about new revelations.

all is well 1

Chairman Haynes addresses the State Executive Committee

GOP state party chairman Ryan Haynes, instead of spending his time correcting the sordid scandal enveloping state party headquarters, has decided to attack the messengers.  In the meantime, we offer a friendly caution to those wavering legislators and others who have rushed to defend Haynes:  RTP has been tracking down accusations of other misdeeds and questionable arrangements that will likely make letter-deniers pleading to get their signatures back on the letter once those revelations are made known over the next several days.

In classic Saul Alinsky-style tactics that could make Obama blush, Haynes, unable to effectively refute any of the charges raised by 27 lawmakers, has instead spent hours calling legislators pleading with them to take their name off of the letter — as if that would somehow change the facts of the case.  According to second-hand reports, Haynes claims he has got nearly half of the legislators to refute the letter they all signed in ink just two days ago but he has offered no public proof to back those claims. One legislator said there was a “stench of desperation” in Haynes’ begging. “I swear, he was so frantic I think I could have asked him to clean my car and walk my dog for a year and he would have done it.”

Regardless of how many weak-kneed types Haynes manages to peel away, neither he nor his staff have been able to refute the substance of the accusations and have resorted to blanket denials saying that nothing is amiss, but providing no evidence to prove their claims.  RTP has the “Exclusive” transcript of one of those phone calls:

Wavering Legislator: “You want me to what, Ryan”

Ryan Haynes: “I want you to take your name off that damn letter.”

WL: “What about all the inside dealing and conflicts of interest at the state party? It looks pretty convincing to me.”

RH: “Who are you going to believe: me or your lying eyes?”

WL: “But how do I get my name off? I signed the damn thing in ink and I printed my name underneath my signature.”

RH: “Don’t you worry about that. We got a Costco-sized bottle of White-out at the office that will do the trick.”

WL: “But what do I tell people why I am doing it?”

RH: “Tell them you were stupid. Tell them you never read anything first before you sign it.”

WL: “How about you fire those sleazeballs on your staff and tell everyone you’re the one who was stupid?”

RH: “Hey, whose job are we trying to save here? Yours or mine?”

Yep. Ryan has everything under control. All is well.

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