“Not enough diversity in the color of the recent precipitation,” says Vice Chancellor of Diversity & Inclusion, Rickey Hall.
In a rare shutdown of the Knoxville campus, Hall decried the recent snowfall and reported Mother Nature to the Obama Administration for a Title 9 violation. Hall said the declaration was in response to an obvious act of racism committed by the school’s radio station, WUOT, last month when they aired the song “White Christmas.”
“In just one song title, the station committed a ‘micro-aggression’ against me and others,” said Hall. “If there are two things we cannot tolerate in a progressive university, it is ‘white’ and ‘Christmas.’
“The recent storm has made the campus entirely too monochromatic.”
The school’s office of LGBTTQ studies added that it was sure the snow was also sexist, but had not yet figured out exactly how. “Give us time,” said a LGBTTQ spokescreature. “We’ll come up with something.”
No word yet from the legislature as to when Hall will be fired.